"I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That’s the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about." —Chuck Palahniuk
When I think of this quote I envision when you sink down and the tears become so hysterical you can taste your own snot and smeared make-up. You’re convulsing and hyperventilating and around you the world moves on, loud and obnoxious, but a silence presses against your ears and you hear nothing but your own ragged breathing . Maybe it’s then you realize that you are alone and have always been and that all the addiction you have, every single one of them, was to cover up for some gaping hole in you.
And it’s been years upon years upon years and you realize you still don’t have the answer, solution, or hell, what’s the problem? Lost in oblivion you cry like a baby. What do you do after?
This is the part that no one sees. Your defining moment. And you are probably hiding behind a dumpster so no one will hear you crying. Biggest point in your life and it reeks of dog crap, used condoms, and left-over Chinese food. Your face is probably puffy, red, and stained with streaked mascara, your hair is wild and untamed like you’ve been yanking at it, and your shirt sleeves has wipes of snot on it. That’s how you look when you decide what you want to do with your life: A total mess.
Welcome to reality. A life without any sort of crutch is uncomfortable. Many never have theirs kicked out from under them and they live a phony life of lies. They’re referred to as morons.
But the few who walk around and are not supported by crutches are noticeable.